How many Princeton students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
How many Brown students does it take to change a light bulb?
Eleven: one to change the light bulb and ten to share the experience.
How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a light bulb?
None: Hanover doesn't have electricity.
How many Cornell students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: one to change the light bulb and one to crack under the pressure.
How many Penn students does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but he gets six credits for it.
How many Columbia students does it take to change a light bulb?
Seventy-six: one to change the light bulb, fifty to protset the light bulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest.
How many Yale students does it take to change a light bulb?
None: New Haven looks better in the dark.
How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?
One: he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
How many Tufts students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: one to change the light bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as an Ivy League student.
How many MIT students does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: one to design a nuclear-powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that nuked light bulb, two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the wall switch.
OR They don't. It is a time for mourning: everytime a lightbulb goes out, a great idea has been lost
How many UVa students does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change the bulb and three to talk about how good the old one was
How many UNC students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: one to screw it in and one to take the old bulb and save it for throwing during the next UNC-Duke game.
How many Stanford students does it take to change a light bulb?
One, dude.
How many University of Chicago students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None: they'll just all read in the dark until exams are over
OR One: Would you really expect to see two Chicagoans doing something unscholastic together?OR One, but not before think "What would Galileo do?"
OR Two: One to change the light bulb, and one to win a Nobel Prize for it.
How many Johns Hopkins students does it take to change a light bulb?
No one changes it. The less competition the better.
How many St. John's College students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four: one to read and explain Edison's patent application, two to construct a working lightbulb from his theories, and one to screw it in.
How many Syracuse students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to drive the snow plow to get to it
How many Caltech students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five, one student to change the bulb and four students to dip the old bulb into liquid nitrogen, then drop it off the library roof.
How many Michigan students does it take to screw in a light bulb? T
en: one to change the bulb and nine to act as the Supreme Court to affirm the action.
How many Wisconsin students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: one to change the bulb and the other to get the Cheesehead hats.
How many Colorado students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Twenty-one: one to hold the bulb steady while twenty football players turn the house.
How many Duke students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: one to change the bulb and the other to yell GO BLUE DEVILS!
How many Emory students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: one to change the bulb -- but while listening on his hands-free cell phone, his mother gives him proper encouragement by telling him what a perfect job he is doing in order to reinforce his self-esteem.
How many Rice students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: one to change the bulb and the other to insist that Rice is really a southern Ivy.
How many Northwestern students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: one to screw it in and the other to tell him how to do it according to the manual.
How many Berkeley students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
2001: one to demand his right not to change the bulb and two thousand to stage the strike in support of him.
How many Macalester students does it take to change a light bulb?
Six: one to change the bulb, two to debate the political correctness of the old bulb as being used or pre-owned, two to recycle it correctly so that all glass and metal are properly separated, and one to worry that they won't cut themselves.
How many Notre Dame students does it take to change a light bulb? 2
5,000: one to change the bulb and the others to cheer him on from the stands.
How many Purdue students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: one to change the bulb and the other to boast he's proud of being a Hoosier and that it has nothing to do with chickens.
How many Grinnell students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: one to change the bulb and the other to wonder if having a degree from a small college in Iowa will get him a job in a bookstore after graduation.
How many Oklahoma students does it take to change a light bulb?
One: but when he's finished he thinks he's earned his degree in electrical engineering.
How many UTexas students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: one to change the bulb and the other to tell the Aggie jokes.
How many Case Western students does it take to change a light bulb?
One: but that doesn't mean he's a nerd.
How many Oberlin students does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: one to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.
How many Vassar students does it take to change a light bulb?
Eleven: one to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation.
How many Middlebury students does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: one to change to light bulb and four to find the perfect J. Crew outfit for the occasion.
How many UC Santa Barbara students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to change the bulb and the other to check it for STDs
How many Wellesley students does it take to change a light bulb?
The whole student body; girls can't do anything right.
How many Georgetown students does it take to change a light bulb?
Four: one to change it, one to call Congress about their progress, and two to throw the old bulb at American U. students.
How many Lehigh students does it take to change a light bulb?
A whole frat, but only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb out of the socket.
How many Hamilton students does it take to change a light bulb?
The whole student body: when you're snowed in, there's nothing else to do.
How many Sarah Lawrence students does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: one to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive dance about it.
How many Swarthmore students does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight: it's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's just that they're all violently twitching from too much stress.
How many Mount Holyoke students does it take to change a light bulb?
One: she calls a Smithie to do it.
How many Smith students does it take to change a light bulb?
One: all you need it one hot woman and you'll never have a heterosexual light bulb again.
How many Boston University students does it take to change a light bulb?
Four: one to change the bulb and two to check his math homework.
How many Amherst students does it take to change a light bulb?
Thirteen: one to change the bulb and an a capella group to immortalize the event in song.
How many Wesleyan students does it take to change a light bulb?
Wesleyan's boycotting GE... you know, military-industrial complex and all that.
How many Connecticut College students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: one to change the bulb and one to complain about how if they were at a better school the light bulb wouldn't go out.
How many Bucknell students does it take to change a light bulb?
One: but he'll only change it if he can put in a white light bulb.
How many Bowdoin students does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: one to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb, one to take the chairlift back to school, and one to screw it in.
How many Bard students does it take to change a light bulb?
One: but she'll only do it if it's an alternative light bulb.
How many Boston College students does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven: one to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.
How many Reed students does it take to change a light bulb?
One: and she doesn't even need a ladder because she has platform Birkenstocks
How many Vanderbilt students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as well as any ivy leaguer.
How many Georgia students does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change the bulb, and two to phone a friend at Georgia Tech and get instructions.
How many Florida students does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to screw in the bulb and three to figure out how to get high off the old one.
How many Alabama students does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to change it, two to talk about how Bear would have done it, and two to throw the old bulb at Auburn students.
How many Ole Miss students does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to change it, two to mix the drinks, and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.
How many LSU students does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. And each one gets credit for four semester hours for it.
How many Carleton students does it take to change a light bulb?
One, she just has to drive to the Mall of America to get a new one.
How many Washington U students does it take to change a light bulb?
None: since they won't get their hands dirty - and besides, you could break a nail.
How many Colby students does it take to change a light bulb?
None: they prefer to be left in the dark about everything -- except when the Northern Lights appear.
How many Brandeis students does it take to change a light bulb?
Eleven: one to change the bulb and ten to be a minion to mourn the passing of the other one.
How many Haverford students does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: one who waits to change the bulb while two others argue if change is good, if the bulb really wants change and that change can only happen when the bulb wants it.
How many Trinity students does it take to change a light bulb?
Who cares.
How many Bates students does it take to change a light bulb?
None: they dont' know what's burned out? Them or the light bulb?
How many Wake Forest students does it take to change a light bulb?
First, there is a campus-wide study to figure out why no one can find the light switch and then an ad hoc committee is formed to find out what a light bulb really is and what it really can contribute to society.
How many Bryn Mawr students does it take to change a light bulb?
One: to call the electrician but it had better be a woman doing a man's job.
How many Kentucky students does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight. One to screw it in, and seven to discuss how much brighter it shines during basketball season.
How many Tennessee students does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. Two to figure out how to screw it in, two to buy an orange lampshade, and six to phone a radio call-in show and talk about how Phillip Fulmer is too stupid to do it.
How many Mississippi State students does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifteen. One to screw in the bulb, two to buy the Skoal, and twelve to shout, "GO TO HELL OLE MISS, GO TO HELL!!!"
How many Auburn students does it take to change a light bulb?
100. One to change it, 49 to talk about how they do it better than Bama, and 50 who realize it's all a lie.
How many South Carolina students does it take to change a light bulb?80,000.
One to screw it in, and 79,999 to discuss how this will finally be the year they have a good football team.
How many Arkansas students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. There is no electricity in Arkansas.
How many Oxford students does it take to change a lightbulb?
'Change, what do you mean change?'
Pretty. Bored. Pretty bored.
